We all know that men and women are totally different. One of the many ways we are different is how we deal with things when we are upset or just need to talk. Men want to fix things but when it comes to us women it can me hard to figure out just how to do that. Sometimes when I unload on my hubby because my emotions are getting the best of me or I just need to talk I will tell him before hand, “I don’t want you to fix this or come up with a solution. I just want you to listen and then hug me and let me know that everything is going to be ok.” He is so happy with doing that. It takes the burden off of him to try and figure out how to “fix” it and he gets to help in the process. What husband doesn’t love that? Our husbands really do want to help but a lot of the times they feel helpless so they do detach. This helps them from doing that.
I was reading in Genesis the other night and came across this text, which I am sure you have all heard or read many times. And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Genesis 2:18(NKJV) The Message version puts it this way, “God said, “It’s not good for the Man to be alone; I’ll make him a helper, a companion.”” Genesis 2:18(MSG) The Good News version, “Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to live alone. I will make a suitable companion to help him.”” Genesis 2:18(GNT)
Any way you read it we are to help our husbands not add more stress to their lives.
Here is an excerpt out of a book that has really helped me over the years, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. I highly recommend adding this book to your marriage tool bag. I will be quoting from it often in my writings to you.
“Men really are not as complicated as we think they should be. Men love to hear that their woman is happy and that they are the source of this happiness. Men deserve the same respect you would show a visitor in your him – even more. Men love to be complimented. They also like to be admired. I always thank my husband for working so hard for us, and I encourage the kids to do so, too. Men are grumpy when they are tired and/or hungry. Anything they say while they are in either one of these states is not to be taken seriously. Men don’t like it when women talk about them behind their backs. Men are not your ‘daddies’, they are your contemporaries and get stressed and scared about things just like you do. And if you were a real friend, you would ease their burdens, not add to them. Men have dreams, too, and it doesn’t matter if it’s logical or not, don’t walk all over them.
This doesn’t mean that we don’t have problems – everyone does – but it’s a lot easier to work them out with a man who knows you love and respect him.”
It has been said that a good number of men want respect more than love. A lot of times men feel that they come last, in their feelings and in their needs. Let’s let our husbands know that is not true.